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But, What if you are Wrong? An Open Letter to John MacArthur

Dear John,

You and lots of your followers strongly believe women have no place teaching, preaching or leading in the church. I get it, I had those same views. But, as a woman with a deep passion and call to teach the Word of God and preach the gospel message whenever and wherever a door opens, I have had to spend a great deal of time studying this issue. As a woman, I could not afford to get it wrong and set myself up to sin every time I taught where a male might be present. My own rigorous studies have moved me to embrace a different theology than the one you hold. When you say, “The Bible is clear.” I’m not sure that is true. I am sure, however, that one of us is getting it wrong. I will concede that we will know the absolute truth on this topic when we both get to heaven. For now, we must embrace the truth that we each strongly believe has been revealed to us through scripture. And, be okay knowing that one of us may be off. 

If I am the one in the wrong, I will have preached and taught many to surrender their lives to Jesus from the stage of mega-churches to the grocery store aisle to the woman or man who looked worn thin next to me in line. And, if I am wrong, the use of such gifts was illegitimate because I am a woman. But, for all of my illegitimate teaching, I have had the profound privilege of leading the lost and lonely to the throne of Jesus Christ. I have called my listeners to live the way of Jesus. I have made complex truths relevant for today and Bible heroes come to life with stories that apply to the now. As a result, I have led hundreds to a deeper walk with Jesus.  

If you are the one in the wrong, you just told one of the most influential voices in our culture, Beth Moore, to go home. And, in doing so, I was told to go home as well. You, and the ones who applauded your “go home” statement, just effectively told half of the church to “go home.” You decided that it would be better for those of us who teach or preach to be silenced and disappear into our homes simply because of our gender. You went on to insinuate that we are giving into feminism and that we simply want power.

As your sister in Christ, I am called to the same church, the same Jesus and the same gospel message you preach. But, as your sister, I hope that I am never in a fox hole with you or any who follow your teaching because when the bullets begin to fly, and we are attacked by the enemy, you will not have my back. You will not champion my gifts as a sister or find me to be a legitimate partner in preaching the truth of Jesus Christ. 

But, If you are wrong or right, you did some significant damage to your voice, your legacy and harmed all who follow you. Not because you are wrong, I’ve conceded we won’t know the absolute truth about that until heaven, but because you are choosing your ideology over people. You are sacrificing people, women to teach or preach, on the altar of your ego. Being right matters more to you than loving and leading the women you are called to shepherd. If I am silenced, you, John MacArthur, do not win. We both lose and Satan wins. 

Gwen Adams

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A Letter to my Sons

First, as your mom and a woman, I want to tell you how valuable and needed you are in your homes, your churches, your work place and in our culture. In the face of a cultural shift and the rise of the powerful (and needed) #metoo movement there are many who would tell you that as a man, especially a white man, you must stand down, shrink back, and hide. They might say that your masculinity is toxic. They might say that your white privilege demands that you head to the back of the line and stay there. You may hear that the world needs less of your voice and more of mine. I want to tell you all that that is a lie. 

Yes, so much harm has been done in our sex saturated culture to harm women and children at the hands of men. I give my life to walk with victims of sex trafficking and I see the horrors every single day of what sex addicted, perverted and power-hungry minds can do to our countries most vulnerable women and children. Predators lurk to lure victims through posing as someone who loves them or thinks they are desirable. A woman’s need to be cared for, wanted and loved has left her vulnerable. 

But, when so much harm has been done at the hands of men, healing too, will come through men. What harmed women in relationship with men needs a powerful reframing of masculinity and manhood. No amount of motherly nurture can bind up the wounds of sexual harm like the voice of one man looking her in the eyes and telling her, YOU MATTER. Women need to see men who are fully themselves in all of their God given identity. They need men to step up and tell each one of them the truth about the worth and value of a woman far outside of her sexual allure. They need to see men who want them as partners in life, partners in ministry and partners in business.

Your masculinity is a gift from God. Your innate desire to provide, protect and even rescue at times is stamped on your DNA. And your voice must be heard. 

As your mom I want you to know that I see the harm caused in the lives of men life through women, too.  I watched women use their sexuality to manipulate to get what they want. Men have been harmed by demands placed on them to lead in a certain way or risk being called passive. Men are asking the question, “do I have what it takes?” And, they heard a cultural resounding, “No!”. Men are mocked for not being strong enough, tall enough, athletic enough, smart enough or rich enough by women. Every sitcom over the last two decades has portrayed you as stupid or irrelevant in so many ways. Your desire for adventure and even a taste for danger has been taken as some silly way of proving your manhood. 

Healing for you from all the harm done to in a culture of hard pendulum swings in favor of women will also be healed through women. You need women in your life that can reframe the value and purpose of strong femininity. You need to see women as not simply beneficial partners but, as critical allies. You need women who love your masculinity and honor your voice. You need women who see the value of your protector spirit and celebrate your giftedness instead of compete with you for a seat at the table. 

The world needs more men who are not afraid to be men. The world needs more of each of you. Unapologetically step out and lead with courage. Fight for the underdog. Give voice to the voiceless. And pursue your dreams with wild passion. 

Real women want and celebrate real men. 

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Feeding the Family: A Weekly Blog of Becoming the Church

This is a blog to log a very unique journey of a small church who is crazy enough to believe they can change a crime ridden city and inspire life. Most names have been changed to protect those we work with. Subscribe to follow the journey.

I have been the Executive Director of a non-profit that fights sex trafficking in our state. I am also part of a small group of people who are planting a church called Refuge City. I never really saw myself as a church planter but for the last three years it seemed like I didn’t really fit anywhere in the churches around me. Let me explain. The people I work with who have survived the horrors of trafficking didn’t fit anywhere. For starters, Anchorage is a big small town and the chances of running into a former client sitting a few rows ahead of you…with his family, where higher than any of us wanted to admit. How was I suppose to attend a church where I didn’t feel comfortable inviting the very people God called us to love? Secondly, I longed for a church with a mission into the darkest places of our culture. I wanted a church that was having an impact in changing the city from the inside out. Lots of churches care deeply about social justice issues but very few have the tools or have cultivated a culture of real mission with equipped and trained disciple makers who run to the margins. I could easily feel lonely in my work. And lastly, I longed to be a part of a church that lived like a Family on Mission. I wanted to be part of a culture of discipleship where my home life and church life were integrated, where I got to live out a life of mission together with the people I like.

Rich and Austin both felt called to leave their ministry positions, risk everything and launch a place called Refuge City. Their hearts were the same as mine only broken for different marginalized people.

We, two of my partners in ministry, my husband and I, joined forces and launched our little family. Meanwhile, at my work we had several law enforcement officers in our offices to ask how we could better serve them and make our partnership stronger. Priceless requires a strong alliance between law enforcement and our team. We asked them lots of questions but right near the end of our time I asked this question and had them each take a moment to answer: If you had several dozen people from the faith community come along side of you and help you make Anchorage a safe place to live, could you use them and how would you use them?

Kenny spoke up. He began to tell us about a group (technically considered a gang by law enforcement) called the Family. They are group mostly made up of homeless teens and a few adults who consider themselves the “parents” of this group. His words pierced my heart, “If you could come along side these leaders of this family and help them care for the practical needs of these kids, perhaps they would quit a lot of the stuff they are doing to make money to shelter, feed and get clothing.” Then he said,

“you would have to be able to love without judgment for all the ways they have survived and made money to take care of their family. Do you think your church people could do that?”

Kenny believed that just this one act of kindness would have a big impact over time on the crime in the down town area. These Robin Hood gang leaders would stop at nothing to care for homeless kids. Their methods were, well, illegal and even dangerous, but their hearts were definitely in the right place.

The first need of the City Family would be a place to gather to feed the whole family in the winter when it is too cold outside to gather. The leader, Mitch, wanted to gather his family to make sure they all got a hot meal at least once a week.

What I heard was something along the lines of us churchy people rent a space near downtown once a week, to call together an entire gang who have a long reputation of causing so much harm in our city and …feed them, a gang, feed a scary gang.

I couldn’t sleep that night. I couldn’t wait to share this proposal with my new little church family? Would they think this was crazy and dangerous or would they be filled with excitement?

They were excited. In fact, it jolted the new church to life with a mission. Feed homeless kids? Yes, please!! It felt like we were made for this. Thus our journey began of Feeding The Family.

By Gwen Adams


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Why I Joined the 3D Movement Board of Directors

I have decided to accept the invitation to join the 3D Movements board of directors. The 3D Movements is an organization designed to come along side churches from the biggest mega church to the new church plant in someone’s home and pattern the church as it was meant to be and take the Great Commission at face value. Building churches by focusing on Discipleship and Mission is at the core of the movement because it’s at the core of the way of Jesus. This movement had such a profound impact upon my own life, my family, my health and my church that I am deeply humbled by the fact that I get to give back and be a part of 3D Movements as they navigate forward in shaping the church in the next generation.

My own story with 3D Movements began at ChangePoint as the leadership decided to enlist 3D Movements to help us navigate our own changing culture. Our growth had stalled and our vision of Life in Christ for Every Alaskan and the World Beyond was not as easy to see with the current reality of declining finances and fewer people in attendance of our weekend services. The grace filled leadership team with 3D Movements  helped us lift up the hood of what it meant to be the church. We were introduced to phrases “If you disciple people you will get the church, if you build the church, you may or may not get discipleship.” And “lighten the cart (church programming) and feed the horse (discipleship).” The truth was we had a huge heavy cart, an anemic horse of discipleship. Our horse was riding in the cart of massive programming and the whole mess had nowhere to head but rolling aimlessly down the hill.

God was not only stirring in me and the team of women I led, but was stirring in our entire pastoral team. We knew we were off track and as a collective group of pastors, we knew we had to change or die a slow painful death of burnout.

For the first time in my life, I was treated like a person worth investment and I saw that my own spiritual health mattered. I’m sure there are many of you reading this are thinking, “What? You would lead without considering your spiritual health first?” The answer is yes! I considered my spiritual growth as a priority, not my spiritual health. There is a big difference. I paid lots of attention to spending time in prayer, in the Word, encouraging those who served in my area, reading every book I could find on leadership and discipleship for my own growth and sometime, after all that was done, and done well, it was ok to care for myself, a little bit. I could take a day off to “get caught up” on all the stuff I couldn’t cram into the crazy pace of the ministry week. In fact, working hard with excellence beyond any reasonable hours, was considered a sort of badge of honor, and I wore it proud. My Children’s Pastor husband lived the same way. We invested in the same way with our family. Our home was the place to be, so some of our evenings and lots of time on the weekends our house was full of teens, bonfires, paint nights, and poker nights all while Mark stood at the stove making late night nachos or cheese quesadillas. All great stuff and we saw lots of fruit but…still tired.

For an exhausted leader, the 3D Movements team’s words were a healing balm for my soul. The commitment to love us and lead us as a team to a new way of doing church which was actually a very old way of doing church, all the way back to the New Testament. Hope was born that perhaps life and ministry could be different.

One evening while we were in Kansas City for our 2nd gathering of 4 over a 2 year period of time, all 8 of us stood outside and committed to each other that we were never going back to the way it was. We were burning the bridge and going hard after building a discipling culture and getting out of the business of building a mega church. We believed that God would give us the ability to accomplish our vision of reaching the state of Alaska and all of her deeply broken pieces, through discipleship and we were done taking a programmatic church building centric approach to spreading the gospel. It meant I would reach the masses, the hurting, the broken and the marginalized by investing in the few.

My own journey to build a discipling culture would eventually lead me to leave ChangePoint staff and serve the churches of Anchorage as a whole through Love Alaska initiatives of Priceless and Chosen. Priceless serves survivors of trafficking and partners each one with a mentor team as they navigate a new future. Chosen walks with aged out foster kids and disenfranchised youth by partnering them with loving adults who are perhaps the only people in their lives that are not paid to be there. Our mission is to walk with the faith community into making disciples outside the church walls with those who our society has marginalized in some way. Seeing ordinary church attenders lean into mission and make a deep impact on the culture in the most broken areas has rocketed my faith forward because I’m seeing explosive growth in the lives of individuals that could not be produced in 3 years of Bible Studies and community groups which I have led for years. Yes, all those really good things produce little exposing the body of Christ to the front line of seeing Jesus show up in desperate situations with power.

What I am most excited about in taking a position on the board is to tell the story of this movement across our nation of ordinary people who took the great commission seriously and left the walls of the church to GO and make disciples of all nations and all people. I want to tell the story of the family of God being on mission in such a way that they have left a deep impact on the neighborhoods, cities and states right where they live.

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#MeToo and the Response of the Church

 

…Silence. It’s only been a couple of months since the #MeToo campaign and the predictable silence  has fallen like a blanket of fresh snow. One flake at a time it fell covering up all the cries of a nation of the once voiceless masses who have finally dared to open up their social media apps and simply type #MeToo. For some, that simple act could be compared to David standing on the battle field with a sling shot and five stones against a towering armored giant. I can only picture shaking hands on a keyboard typing and then erasing and typing #MeToo again. Then in a singular movement hitting return and slamming the lap top shut and sobbing, “I did it.” The world would know that she was a victim of sexual abuse. Her perpetrator may see her post. Questions would be asked. The safety of silence was broken and her broken heart was dangerously exposed. She, along with millions would hold her breath and wait. What was next? What would happen? Would the tide of sexual abuse in our country change? A few marches, protests and movements took a step forward but were quickly drowned out by the political puppet masters who lurk for such opportunities to advance their own agenda’s on the backs of hurting people.

…And then the snow fell. The heartbreak for me what not that the snow fell in our nation. It was predictable. But, the silence fell in our churches, too. You know, that institution formed by God himself as a family, a place of safety; that one place where family is renewed and the heartache of all that is wrong in our world is re-shaped in God’s Kingdom? The churches silence has been a final blow for so many. Many have wondered if the church was really value added in their lives. The first question has always been, “Am I known?” The second, much scarier to ask, “If people really know the true me, will they want me?” For the masses who dared to type #MeToo, the silence of the church shouted an answer to the second question and in one breathtaking collective voice we all heard the church say, “Not our issue.” Those words were translated 1000’s of different ways in the hearts of every survivor. They heard, “Don’t rock the boat.” “Let it go.” “You don’t matter.” “It was partly your fault.” “Get over it.” and the list goes on. The church is without excuse. She can’t unknow the truth but how does she deal with the fact that a large percentage of the women who sit in the chairs every weekend, facing forward have felt the devastating blow of her most basic, God given boundary; her skin. It is out of this boundary called skin that every other boundary flows. The breeching of this boundary tears away at her ability to feel safe, bond with others or trust the people around her. The ability to trust gut instincts are torn as well. She couldn’t protect herself and her voice into the matter went unheard. This voicelessness and powerlessness can follow her the rest of her life. And, her voicelessness has caused her to pull back and hide herself and her gifts away. Can the church not see how devastating the loss of hiding away the full participation of these wounded women? They are with holding their gifts and the church has suffered greatly because of it.

Now what? Let me be bold. The answer is not to form small groups of counseling clusters to help women with sexual abuse heal. Church, your programs are not wanted by the #MeToo survivors.

What is needed is acknowledgement of the truth! SEE the brokenness and need. SEE the pain. SEE the devastation and destruction that sexual abuse leaved on the life of a victim.

Secondly, repent. Not every church person or church leader is a perpetrator of the harm of sexual misconduct. But every single person had a role to play in the complete sexual meltdown of our culture. We have ALL participated or worse, ignored what was happening all around us. We did nothing when 1200 of the top 2000 pop songs use the word pimp or celebrate “sexual abuse”. We ignored the sexual content in our favorite shows and movies. We turned a blind eye to magazine covers in the check out stands. And, we forgot that morality matters in politics.

It is time we repented of those sins as a church. It is time we used every platform we have to say it like it is. We closed our eyes! We would rather dazzle with an inspiring weekend service than acknowledge the fact that many of people in the audience struggled or are struggling with a pornography or sex addiction. Our divorce rate matches the divorce rate of the world around us. Molestation of our children is rampant, rape is on the rise, and the church is the ONE PLACE that rarely speaks up.

We, the church, can do better. I long for a day when our churches celebrate the brave voices of the #MeToo survivors and encourage them to speak up. When they speak up, embrace each one with all the compassion of God Himself. I long for a day when the church commits to stand in the gap with the harmed, defend them, seek justice on their behalf, walk with them, weep with them and believe that the GOSPEL OF JESUS CHRIST ENOUGH, EVEN FOR THIS.

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What if This is as Good As It Gets?

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What if This is as Good as it Gets? by Gwen Adams

What if life, in all of its circumstances is at it’s very best for you? What if I could tell you that your financial situation will not get any better, ever. In fact, you have more money today than you will ever have in the future. What if your job is what it is? What if it will only get harder in the future? What if your health is at its best right now? You will never be in better shape than today, right where you are now. This is you!  In fact, every circumstance of your life will either stay the same or get worse from here forward. What if your car, your house, your clothes will all deteriorate from here forward. What if your memory is at its best? What if this is actually AS GOOD AS IT GETS.

What about the way you view God would change? What would change about the way you spend your time? What changes when all of our efforts to improve our circumstances in life are meaningless and worthless? Can God be all good and all of life’s circumstances get worse? What happens when we quit putting our hope in better circumstances and grab ahold of today simply because It is as Good as it Gets? What if we stop and celebrate what we have now instead of living with one toe in the future waiting for what will be?  What if we quit saying, “If only this or that could change?”

This year I want to find deep satisfaction in today. I want to put the driving force of ambition to bed and embrace today as the very pinnacle of my lifetime. I want to see today as a day that truly is The Best Day Ever. I don’t want to day dream about how great life will be when….. I want today to be enough for me. I am enough, my kids are enough, my husband is enough, I have enough, my influence is enough and yes, Jesus is truly enough.

When today gets my full attention because it is As Good As it Gets, then each tomorrow will get my full attention as well in the very moment that I am expected to live that day.

Give me this day, my daily bread

Perhaps I can have a year of one day resolutions to simply embrace life as it is even with the bumps, warts, hurts, and bruises. What if I could see this one day in its pre-redemptive state as the gift it is, in its imperfect fullness. Maybe I can make the very most of what is right now right in front of me instead of seeing all the ways that life must change in the future. Grab a hold and don’t miss today because this could very well be AS GOOD AS IT GETS.

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I Am Beautiful

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We had only just met through text. She didn’t trust me but in her desperation was willing to interact enough to see if I might be able to bring some resources to bear. Her trafficker had been arrested and now the state was working hard to build an airtight case against this man on the charges of sex trafficking. The case was splashed across the papers with all the horrid details of the ways he had harmed the six or seven women he had trafficked. The details were shocking torturous tales of brutal rape, beatings and physiological torture. She watched the case unfold never thinking for a minute that anyone knew that she, too, was his victim. Then one day the State Trooper knocked on her door and asked for her by name. She didn’t know anyone knew her name, let alone was looking for her. She agreed to give testimony and receive some help.

The first few days of our texts were brief exchanges of information. As I ask questions about her favorite color or what kind of music she liked. Even these questions were difficult to answer. She felt I was prying. Noone had asked her questions about her likes or dislikes, no one cared.

The conversation progressed and she, through text, (a phone call was out of the question) began to tell me about her birth parents and growing up in foster care. I became the friend she would text just so someone knew about her day. I finally got up enough courage to ask her to send a photo of herself so I could picture her as we texted. I sent one first. She sent a photo. I responded, “You are beautiful!” And, the texting stopped. Weeks of tender progress and building trust…gone. It was about a week of reaching out to her before she finally texted back. When I asked her what had happened she replied, “That word! Please, call me anything but don’t ever call me beautiful again.” That word represented the worst harm in her life. The moment she began to believe the words, “You Are Beautiful” was the very moment she sold her soul to the devil and let herself be dragged into a world of trafficking. She would do whatever it took to just hear those words again. She was exploited over and over again as her need to be loved and accepted grew. Now that she was free, she made a promise that she would never again allow those words to enter her heart. And, now I was the one that triggered so much pain. I dropped to my knees and wept for her and asked God to restore BEAUTY in my new friend’s life. The truth is that I understood her pain. At the point of the greatest rejection and abandonment in my own life I despised my own beauty. I despised how vulnerable I was to wanting and even NEEDING to hear those words. Why is beauty so powerful, so important to us? Why does it matter?

According to scripture beauty is used as an alluring force from man to woman, man to God, kingdom to a king and so forth. God is drawn toward the Beloved by her beauty. The church is described as the bride of Christ and if there is anything to be understood about being a bride, it would be that a bride is prepared to be beautiful.

Beauty is the visible representation of the love of God. Beauty puts this strange love on display so we see it and are drawn in that direction. It is the alluring of God. Beauty awakens desire. Let me explain it this way. If God’s love were simply good but not beautiful, then the banquet He would prepare for us would be set with bowls of chard, kale and liver. All of these foods provide optimal nutrition and would sustain life but, I would only come to the banquet out of necessity and not desire.

No, the love of God is beautiful and it is expressed in the way he lays out the banquet feast. The table draws each of us in. As we gaze and such an array of dishes, full of color, variety artistically displayed down the full length of the table we begin to salivate. We can’t wait to pick up a fork and eat. This feast would draw out our appetites.

Beauty is defined in the Old Testament primarily as YAPHEH. This word is the same word used for handsome. It’s used to describe Sarah, David and even God. There is little distinction between how this word is used to describe males or females. It means to shine. The definition includes word like precious, illustrious, valuable and bright. I like to think of beauty as a strong light. As you can see we have only cheapened the meaning of beauty in our own culture. Beauty, in our culture today, has nothing to do with being alluring in strength or a light that draws one in. Beauty must be much more than a sexual attraction. Think about it, David was beautiful! The warrior, sword wielding strong man was described in the same way as Sarah, both are beautiful. Both possessed a light, an alluring quality that drew others in and that BEAUTY was the very reflection of God Himself put on display through them to a dark world.

Think about the implications of a love without beauty. Satan understands the power of beauty to arouse each of us and incline our appetite toward God. He knows that stamped at the core of every person’s DNA is the powerful reflection of the lavish love of God. If satan wanted to diminish and hide God from the world, he would simply mar the beauty of God as expressed in the children of God. He would simply put out the light. It becomes a cheap, external sexualized form of feminine power. To redeem beauty is to redeem the powerful alluring light of God in His children. It’s that indescribable quality that makes you want to be with someone. It is the very reflection of the Image of God. My desire or longing to be beautiful is nothing less than the image of God as stamped on my DNA calling to break forth as a ray of light to the world around me. I am beautiful because He is beautiful and I am made in His likeness.

One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple. Psalm 27:4

and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of                 righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor. Isaiah 61:3

And your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, because the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect, declares the Sovereign Lord. Ezekiel 16:14

Gwen Adams

 

 

 

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Why I Will Not Apologize for Praying FIRST for Vegas

 

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By Gwen Adams

People responded en mass to the violence with hashtags and posts about praying for Vegas. Then came the barrage of statements, posts, speeches about gun legislation. Then came the counter backlash of “this is not the time to insert political agenda or lead to solutions.” Or, “It’s a time to grieve.” Next came the counter to the counter back lash of how incredible offensive it is to minimize the solution oriented statements and just pray or send thoughts. It felt small and uncaring to so many. Action is what they wanted.

For me, this exposes the sad reality that prayer itself has become pat answer or a way to say, “Im sad and sorry for what has happened.” Saying that you will pray with or for someone has become a nice little sentiment when you can’t find the words. If this is what one believes about prayer, I will agree that it feels small and offensive to pat down such extreme human suffering with a nice little word. But prayer is the furthest thing from a pat answer:

Prayer is a call on God to intervene and show up in blazing power in a situation that does not have a human answer. Prayer is enlisting the protection, power and deliverance of the one who holds the universe in His hands. A first response of prayer, even before the dust settles, is the most active solution oriented approach possible. It is an admittance that our best efforts are meaningless without God. It is an admittance of need, even to know how to respond. Calling on God who is intimately involved with every cell in every human body to heal and preserve life is wise. A miraculous intervention was needed in so many cases. We must call on God for comfort for those who lost love ones. God is a God of compassion and if there was ever a need for powerful compassion, it is now.

More was done by God to heal, protect, love, give courage, give wisdom and guidance where needed than by any other act of any person. This was in response to the cry of his children through prayer.

If prayer is not enough then I would think there is a denial that prayer is attached to conversation with the God of universe who is present, active and not silent. Prayer is not simply a nice little word.

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Where Was God When….

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by Gwen Adams

I have had the strangest answers to a question I always ask. When someone is telling a heartbreaking story of extreme abuse or tragedy I will ask (often with tears running down my face), “Where was God?” Here is the bloody truth most of us believe, at least for a moment; He could have prevented all of it. He could have stepped in….and He did not. But, even in the most perverted twisted of stories from women without faith or with very little faith they are aware of His presence in the worst moments of pain.

“A man grabbed my hand and held me across the room while my body was being raped.”

“I don’t understand but I do know I was not alone.”

“I was being beaten but I felt no pain after the first few blows. I was at total peace.”

“Someone was there weeping over me. I have no idea who it was but someone saw my pain.”

Here is the truth: God was there and HE WAS NOT SILENT. The God who handcrafted each one in His very image would not just simply stand by.

God does not exist in the confinements of space and time like I do. If you watch the twinkle of the closest star you are seeing what happened in that star four years ago as if it is happening now. Take God, who holds the universe in His hand, and consider that He is everywhere all at once. When He looks at us on our little planet he see’s everything all at once from the beginning of creation to this very moment and on into the future.

His response to every tiny ounce of pain for as long as man exists upon this earth was immediate, in the moment. He responded with such prolific violence and finality. Yes, while each act of terror was happening, God ordered His only son to take it, all of it, on Himself, in His own body and take the punishment of every kind of evil. God sent His only son to die a violent death on a cross in my place to rescue me from certain death. For me, the earth went dark, and the vail was torn. In three days he ended eternal death and the destruction of His created ones. He broke the curse. This death burial and resurrection is my present reality. He died for me yesterday, today and tomorrow.

The cross was His response, it is His response and it will be His response. Perhaps the “presence” felt in the room of horror is Jesus taking on the full impact of that particular sin, currently hanging on the cross with that blemish upon Him, robbing Satan of the glory of destruction.

Oh, precious created child of the living God, you were worth the cross. Your pain was seen, is seen. Your pain broke the heart of God and moved Him to a violent, immediate shift of the earth on it’s very access and broke the power of death, for you. What a response! And here you thought no one sees or hears you. He is present and He will not, has never just stood there and allowed evil in your life. It is impossible.

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I Don’t Want To Be Used By God by Gwen Adams

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I have to just say it out loud. I don’t want to be used by God. I don’t want to be used by anyone. I don’t want to be a useful tool in God’s work to win the world. I keep thinking how offensive it would be to me if Mark, my husband described me as a useful wife. I want to be LOVED. When I focus on being a “good witness” or someone with “a life worth imitating” I slip into this weird place of seeing God as my employer and I work hard to be His good worker. Fortunately for me God came to rescue me because He LOVES me, “For God so loved the world that he gave his only son.” John 3:16.

He didn’t go to the cross to rescue me because he needs a good worker. He doesn’t desire me because I’m a useful sort of person who will help Him get His big load of work done. He wants a real love relationship with me. God wants ME so much that He would stop at nothing, including the death of His only son, just to have a shot at a relationship me, a real relationship with real dialog, real adventure and real friendship.

It is in the context of that love relationship that I get to go on mission with Him. I get to participate with Him in His efforts to reach the lost. I get to show up with all the gifts He gave me and respond to God’s amazing love in my life by loving others. I even get to suffer with Him, and cry with Him. I have a special front row seat to the beauty and majesty of God as He reaches and rescues others. No, God does not use me and He never has. For this, I am thankful.